Benjamin Franklin once said, “It’s not necessary to speculate about the driving forces within us. Under pressure they leap out and reveal themselves.” Today these different forces are called “diversity,” and they take many forms such as beliefs, values, needs and attitudes. Certainly, driving forces vary from individual to individual. Differences in skills, personalities, work styles and leadership attributes can lead to misunderstanding and closed-mindedness. This dynamic translates into workplace conflict, discontent and dissatisfaction, all of which contribute to productivity breakdowns. Understanding how to neutralize differences and create a common ground brings harmony back to the workplace.

Innate Differences

Obvious differences such as gender, race, religion, culture and language exist in the workplace. What’s not as visible is the diversity determined by one’s emotional perspectives. These dictate how individuals learn, respond to changes and make decisions.

It is part of the human condition that people have dissimilar needs and values, which form the basis for their belief systems. Their beliefs generate attitudes that ultimately drive behaviors and become manifested as diverse skills, personality traits, work styles and leadership attributes. As a natural consequence, misunderstandings and conflicts arise because people misinterpret situations or lack skills to deal with personality differences. For example, some employees need order and control to help them stay focused, prepared and grounded. When their environments and work experiences lack these fundamentals, they take it personally. They are likely to feel frustrated or dissatisfied. When other co-workers start asking questions such as, “Where is that person coming from?” and “Why don’t they get it?” it indicates differences are being judged rather than appreciated.

Here’s an example of how behavior misunderstandings occur. A state attorney was smart and hard working, yet to others she appeared cold, aloof and conceited. The cultural expectation in her office was to be friendly and outgoing. Instead, she was straightforward, well informed, well prepared and to the point. Co-workers expected this attorney to be vivacious and animated, and when she wasn’t, others immediately assumed something was wrong with her. They made disparaging remarks about her and “pushed” her away. This attorney eventually learned to speak in a more upbeat way to match the expectations of her co-workers. When she changed her style, others began to relate to her in a more positive way and productivity increased.

Emotional Threats in the Workplace

According to Dr. W. Edwards Deming, a statistician credited with creating the foundation for Total Quality Management, there are 14 points for management to pursue in order to increase quality, productivity and competitive position. One of those points is the mandate for management to drive out fear in the workplace in order to allow employees to build trust and work effectively for the organization. As Deming notes, when employees feel secure enough to ask questions and express ideas, they are more productive. If they have a fear of speaking up, conflicts are likely to occur and remain unresolved. The more management is able to keep the workplace safe, steady and secure, the more likely employees feel their needs are being honored and met. As a result, they respond in a more constructive manner.

A second emotional threat also comes from employees who feel misunderstood. Most often, they also feel minimized, unappreciated and de-motivated. Because they think management and/or other co-workers do not appreciate their needs, they take it personally and become defensive. This negative energy stifles their creativity and eventually leads to an irreconcilable breach, one where insult leads to injury.

Part of taking care of business means taking care of people. This requires attention, skill and commitment to nurturing the emotional needs of workers. When workers feel balanced, safe and secure, they function better. On the other hand, when they feel threatened, resentful or angry, they feel victimized, insulted and injured. Unmet needs can bring about emotional reactions where everything is personalized. Problems become convoluted and tougher to resolve. The solution is to catch oneself when emotions threaten to take over, or “needs” jerk reactions begin, by recognizing the other person is not a threat but rather is someone with a different set of needs. In order to modify perceptions, one must have self-knowledge to manage one’s own needs and control one’s emotions.

Diversity in Action

Consider this common workplace scenario. Jane, an employee, who expected co-workers to be brief and direct in order to not waste time, approached other employees in this fashion. Another more friendly and outgoing co-worker, Mary, usually started conversations by asking about the other employee’s family. Neither method was wrong. The individuals simply had completely different sets of expectations and socialized values. Yet, each approach caused the other to feel insulted. Jane perceived Mary as someone who crippled her ability to complete work by beating around the bush. Mary, on the other hand, felt offended when Jane was totally task-focused in their conversations. Eventually, these two significantly different work styles created gaps between the employees, and their relationship deteriorated. To bridge the gaps, Mary and Jane learned not to take differences personally but to negotiate agreements about communicating and working together.

Reconcilable Differences

Feelings are driven by deep, instinctive needs. The key to embracing diversity in the workplace is to understand the emotional drivers behind individual needs. Most everyone assumes incorrectly that everybody else has needs similar to their own. In reality, every person “speaks” a different emotional language. To communicate effectively sometimes requires the equivalent of learning a foreign language or developing a common ground around a shared emotional language. For example, a female employee might generalize and make assumptions that a male co-worker is treating her differently because he doesn’t value women. Yet, she might be making inappropriate attributions and be lacking in an understanding of his emotional filters related to socialization and culture. Similarly, employees around the world might have the same emotional drivers yet express them differently. Acceptable behavior within the United States might not be acceptable in China, Italy or other countries and vice versa due to cultural differences.

Fortunately, there are personality assessment tools that can provide a framework to normalize or create a baseline for appreciating differences. These tools assist with acknowledging, understanding and addressing personality differences. When carefully selected and used, they can create a competitive advantage and give working teams an extra margin of success. Additionally, they bring insights into discovering why people do what they do, act the way they act and ask the questions they ask. They provide a method for dealing with differences in a non-emotional, non-judgmental, descriptive way.

What makes personality assessment tools unique is their ability to present findings visually to see differences. For maximum success, use a tool that goes beyond measuring rational and social dimensions to include the instinctive level. The rational level reveals the way employees like to interact in their jobs while social dimensions describe how one learned to interact with others. The instinctive level explains the motivating forces affecting self-esteem. This is where relationships are built and destroyed and is a key component to understanding and appreciating diversity.

Awareness Builds Diversity Acceptance

Many organizations develop their cultures and what it takes to be successful within the organization based on one particular style. Typically the leaders are authoritative, directive and focused on short-term results. Employees attempt to conform to this style in order to climb the company ladder, resulting in myopic organizations with underused employees. The organizations suffer in the long run because the cultures are not focused on strategy. Ironically, cultural differences create new paradigms by allowing employees to share their diversity. Acceptance of this diversity of work styles promotes communication and cooperation, which provides significant benefits to the company. Eventually, this leads to higher performing teams and a greater competitive advantage.

Most often, the lack of understanding of the emotions involved in human interaction is the root cause of people problems in the workplace. That’s not surprising because people are trained to be logical, rational and analytic. Although many might argue there is no room in business for emotion, it will always exist. It’s simply a part of the human condition. For example, one does not think confidence or trust; one feels confident and trusting. Being aware of emotional needs and accurately describing them closes the irreconcilable differences gap.

Tools that assist employees and leaders in identifying and discussing varying needs raise the level of performance. Humans, by their very nature, are diverse beings, regardless of gender, culture, religion, etc. Each employee contributes a unique package of strengths to the company. By embracing the emotional diversity within the organization instead of attempting to quell it, employees communicate more effectively, accept divergent viewpoints and are able to truly pull together as a high-performing team.

Warren Birge, senior vice president, and Deborah Dorsett, vice president, are executive consultants with Personalysis Corporation, a management consulting firm located in Houston, Texas. Since 1975, Personalysis Corporation has worked with national and international companies to help them achieve higher productivity and performance. They can be reached at info@personalysis.com.